Thursday, October 30, 2014

Non Veg Jokes in Hindi: Doodh Kitna


Boss 2 Secrtary: chaey (tea) Bana do.

Secrtary: Sir Sugar kitni?

Boss: 2 Spoon.

Secrtary: Doodh kitna?

Boss: DoodH bus Dikha do me khud Daal longa!

Itna Karo K Kabhi Kam Na Pade, Par Sala Kam Padh Hi Jata Hai

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Fadu Hindi Superb Funny Jokes 29 Oct 2014


डॉक्टर पागल से: ये क्या है?
पागल: ये मैंने 500 पन्नो की किताब लिखी है
डॉक्टर: तो तुमने 500 पन्नो पे क्या लिखा?
पागल: 1st पन्ने पे लिखा है- ‘एक राजा घोड़े पर बैठकर जंगल
की तरफ चला,’
और आखरी पन्ने पर लिखा के ‘वो राजा जंगल पहुँच गया..’
डॉक्टर: अबे कमीने, फिर बिच के 498 पन्नो पे क्या लिखा?
पागल:
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
तिगडीक तिगडीक ..
डॉक्टर: अरे पर तेरी ये कहानी पढ़ेगा कौन ?
पागल: fb पर अपलोड कर दूंगा. वैसे
भी पागलो की कमी नहीं है दुनिया मैं..
=============

Teacher: "Aaj Pehli BaarTum Class Me Baat Kar Rahi Ho....Hamesha Tum Nazre Jhukake MeriBaateSunti Thi Kya Ho Gya Hai Tumhe.?......Pinky:" Sir Ji Net Pack Khatm HoGya Hain.
=============
Banta class mein – madam maine “abc” yaad karli..Madam -ok , to sunao..Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for appleBanta – ok madam…. A for apple.B for bada apple.C for chhota apple.D for dusra apple.E for ek aur apple.F for fokat ka apple.G for gol apple.H for hazar appleI for itney saarey apple?J for jaao nahi khaani hai appleK for kaise nahi khaayengey appleL for lena padhega tumko appleM for mujhe nahi chahiye itne appleN for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai appleO for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare appleP for peth bhar khaao appleQ for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh appleR for roz agar khaao tum appleS for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum appleT for tumko nahi milengey itney achey appleU for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh appleV for very tasty hai yeh appleW for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se appleX for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padengeappleY for yun na chehra phero dekhkey appleZ for zaraasa aur khaalo apple…

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Adult Funny Hindi Jokes: Tamil Man Onto New York

2 tamil brahmin village men get onto a bus in New York. They sit down & engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next 2 them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears 1 of them say the following:
“Emma cums first.
Den I cum.
Den two asses cum together.
I cum once-a-more!
2 asses, they cum 2gether again.
I cum again and pee twice.
Then I cum one lasta time.”
The lady can’t take this any more and shouts “You foul- mouthed sexobsessed Indian, in this country we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sex lives however extraordinary they are.”
“Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man. “Who talkin’ about sex?
I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell Mississippi.”
(I swear you’re gonna read this again) 

Monday, October 27, 2014

Police And The Women: Funny Jokes Whatsapp Message 27 Oct 2014


Caught Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT!! told you I was speeding too..

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Funniest Whatsapp Jokes Message - THE BIG CRASH


THE BIG CRASH

It is the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the centre of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, miraculously neither driver is hurt.

They both get out. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his cell phone and they say they will be there within 20 minutes.

It’s cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who then puts it away.

"Aren’t you going to have a drink?" the doctor says.

"AFTER the police get here." replies the lawyer

New Funny Whatsapp Jokes Message: GIRL OR BOY

GIRL OR BOY!!!

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.